Integrity...

Patrick and I dated for the rest of the school year until I had to go back home to IL. I wanted to stay the summer, but my parents would not let me. Right before the school year let out though, my dorm roommate stayed out one night. The dorm mother came and woke me up the next day asking if I knew where she was. I did not. She then told me that my “aunt” was on the phone downstairs in her office, which I thought was weird because none of my aunts ever called me…it was my roommate. Long story short, I was then in the hot seat to tell my dorm mother what I my roommate said and I did. I was told by her and other dorm resident that I should be proud of myself that I did the right thing and that I was a woman of integrity, but I didn’t feel like it at all! I felt horrible. I just ratted out my friend and roommate. Her staying out all night was a violation of school policy and grounds for dismissal. Not only that, she was in America on a student visa. If she was expelled, she was sent back to her country. I felt sick.
I went ahead and attended classes that morning. I had a break in the afternoon and decided to get a few things out of our room. When I got there, she was there and yes, she was packing – they had expelled her. When I opened the door, I was standing face to face with her and she was angry. She attacked me – literally. It was awful. I got away and hopped into my car. I headed back to the college and into the office there. They put me in a room where security took pictures of my injuries, admins took my story down, teachers and officials became involved…it was very humiliating and embarrassing. I understood why my roommate was mad and I chose to forgive her right then and there. My choice came easily as I let the Holy Spirit lead me. I know that it was only by God’s grace that I could have forgiven her in that moment.
My parents came and wanted me to press charges against her. I never felt right about this, but they are my parents, right? They know what is best right? I filed and we settled things with a mediator. My parents had gone back to IL at this point, so Patrick drove me and was there by my side. If I had to do it over, I would not have pressed charges against her. However, you live and you learn and my roommate and I eventually forgave each other, but still, it was a very hard lesson in relationships.
I went home for the summer, but things were not as they were. Things changed. I felt like an outsider in my own home. I felt excluded in everyday life and it was very hard for me to find my place once again. I reacted - negatively. I ended up on the phone with Patrick almost every night and in July of 1996, Patrick came to my house in IL and I moved out.
~Janice~