Changes...

Ironically, during this trying time in our marriage, my parents and I had started to make amends. Patrick and I traveled to Illinois several times to work on the restoration of our relationship. You have to work on relationships; you just can’t sit back and let relationships happen to you, because if you do, they won’t.

Patrick and I decided to try to get pregnant. We thought that having a baby would soften things between us and make everything better. Now, I know that standing on the outside of this type of situation I can hear some of you saying, “Ya! Right!” But it is not until you are fully in a situation in that moment that you think that something this dramatic will make your life better. I mean, it’s a baby! How wonderful, right? A product of your love. But see, it really isn’t when you are involved in an abusive situation. It can make things drastically worse and then, you have gone and involved another person into the terrible mix. We tried for almost a year to conceive. I am thankful that we never did. It was in God’s plan for both of us.

Things were good again. We ended up getting a dog. I worked with that puppy and trained it, never thinking that it may one day defend me, but that is exactly what happened. I remember being chased around the apartment, and I ran into our guest bedroom and locked myself in. The dog was on the other side of the door. Patrick kicked the door, yelled and screamed all the while, the dog barking. I remember that he bit Patrick. He ended up leaving the apartment after that, just like he always did. The dog lay in front of my door until it was safe for me to come out. Patrick was more afraid of the dog now and the abuse died once again. I loved that dog.

Psalms 17:7-9 - "Show me your unfailing love in wonderful ways. You save with your strength those who seek refuge from their enemies. Gruard me as the apple of your eye. Hide me in the shadow of your wings. Protect me from wicked people who attack me, from murderwous enemies who surround me." God is always there to protect His sheep. Love Him. He is your Shephard; Trust in Him.
~Janice~