Deadbolts...

We were both 21 and over $40,000 in unsecured debt. We began fighting over money, which always led to other fights. Patrick signed up for credit cards in my name and cosigned others that I didn't know about. We ended up buying a car that neither of us could afford, and ended up working all the time, which proved to be a strain on our marriage. Our fights became worse. I found out that he was participating in graphic internet pornography, and at the same time, our fights became physical.
Patrick and I got more and more violent. He would chase me down the hallway; sometimes with a knife, kick me, spit on me, hit me, call me names and made me do things in the bedroom that I didn’t want to do. He would always leave the apartment for an hour or two after our fights. I don’t know what he did or where he went, I didn’t want to know. All I know was that he had calmed down and always knew what to say to apologized.
I got fed up with this routine after a short while and bought a new lock for the door. I would practice changing it out. I would time myself and work on getting faster at changing the deadbolt, because the next time, I was going to lock him out for good.
The next time came. I changed that lock in less than 3 minutes. I packed his bags and threw them on the porch. When he came back, he sang a different tune! He was sorry and fed me the lines I wanted to hear and I eventually let him back in. We talked about the pornography and I knew that it was one of the many roots of our problems. I told him that if he started with the porn again, I was leaving. I felt that it was my way out. But I also felt that I needed to give him one more chance.
Through it all, we stayed in church. It was a Methodist Church – definitely not a church that I was used to having been raised in a non-denominational Pentecostal church. One day, I looked at Patrick and said, “I can’t go back there anymore.” (Sometimes God will “Rock Your Boat” to get you to move…He’ll make you uncomfortable to get you to take that step of faith that He is wanting you to take.) We met with our pastor and she understood and gave us her blessings. We moved closer into town to lessen our commute. There was an Assemblies of God church right on the corner of our new apartment and we became very involved. Things started to shape up again. Both Patrick and I got new jobs, we were down to one car, and had a closer commute. However, we were still unknowledgeable about debt reduction and our fights were still there, but hidden from everyone around us. No one knew. I had never felt lower in my life; I lost all self-esteem. I cooked and baked all the time, therefore I gained a lot of weight and reached my heaviest size.

~Janice (don't worry...it gets better)~